Here is the large collection of funny messages
Cute SMS
Doctors After Operation and Students After Exam Both tell the Same Answer
.
.
.
.
.
We Tried Our Best
Can’t Say Anything Right Now!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Examiner: Why r u under tension?
Did u forget admit card, ID, or calculator?
Student: No Sir!
By mistake i have brought tomorrow
exam’s bit (cheating material) today.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We Indian student are always the best..
Look how we study
1) B4 paper unnecessary sms to frndz.
2) Plan each day to study but end of d day:
we should read 2morrow
3) We waste all our tym in counting chapterz instead of doing them.
4) We want break after evrey 2pages
5) Unnecessarily we start feeling hungry
6) We even start likeing doordarshan
7) B4 starting study, msg frndz
8) Right now u r thinking of forwarding this msg to ur frndz.
Bill gates never did Laxmi pooja but he is Richest man.
Einstein never did Sarswati pooja but hewas most Intelligent.
Belive in WORK Not in LUCK
Q: How to Kill an Ant?
Asked in exam for 15 marks..
Student’s Answer:
Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar & keep it outside the Ant’s Hole.
After eating, Ant will search for some water near a water tank.
Push ant in to it. Now ant will go to dry itself near fire.
When it reaches fire, put a bomb into the fire.
Then admit wounded ant in ICU.
Remove oxygen mask from its mouth and kill the ant.
MORAL: Don’t play with students they can do anything for 15 marks.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
80% of the Ques. in the exams are based on the
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
One lecture u missed and the topics u dont covered for the exams.
The Funniest Situation in Student Life:
.
.
.
.
When u have No idea what to Write
in the Paper & the Examiner Comes & Says..
*Plz Hide ur Answer Sheet*
Syllabus- 80GB
We study- 80MB
Retains in mind- 80KB
Write in exam- 80Bytes
Result cums in binary digits
i.e.
00
01
10
11
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answers of a Brilliant student who obtained 0%
Q. In which battle did Napoleon die?
A. His last battle.
Q. Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed?
A. At the Bottom of the Page.
Q. River Ravi flows in which state?
A. Liquid.
Q. Whats the main reason for Divorce?
A. Marriage.
Q. Whats the main reason for Failure?
A. Examinations.
Did the student Answer Anything
Wrong…???
Like TO Support Students
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: “Johnny, Im Glad To See Your Writing Has Improved.”
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked: Why are you writing so slowly?
Sardar: Im writing to my 6 yr old daughter,
he can not read very fast.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher asked his student:
what is the most important source
of finance for starting a successful business?
Students: "Father in law".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The more you learn, the more you know
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHY STUDENT FAIL
Sundays-52 in a year,Days left 313
Summer holidays 50,Days left 263
8 hrs daily sleep-130 days GONe, Days left 141
1 hr daily playing means 15 days,Days left 126
2 hrs daily for eating means 30 days.Days left 96,
1 hr talking means 15 days.,Days left 81
Exams days 35 days,Days left 46
Eid & Gov holidays 20, Days left 26
Movies,TV at least 25 days,Days left 1
That 1 day is your BIRTHDAY.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!
The priest inquired: Why must you pray so, my child?
Girl:That's what I have written in my answer sheet in the examination!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newton’s 4th law
According to newton’s 4th law for exams-
every book will continue to be at rest
or covered with dust
until some
external or internal exam moves it!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Son: Dad, will you punish me for something that I did not do ??
Dad: of course not, why? !
Son: That is great ’cause I did not do my homework!! ... Thanks Dad
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientist: statistics shows that students usually sleep more than the others ...
Student: yeha that is because our dreams are always BIG sir
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The shortest relationship in life is between students and books.
They hook-up only a day before the exam and break-up right after the exam!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHANGING EXAM PATTERN
Year 1995 : Answer all questions.
Year 2000 : Answer any 5 question.
Year 2005 : Select the correct answer (A, B or C).
Year 2010 : Write either a or b.
Year 2015 : Please only read the questions.
Year 2020 : Thanks for Coming !!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you can’t Convince Them
then try to Confuse them!
A good way to answer
unknown questions in Exam!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A student asked a teacher (while collecting homeworks):
Student: is teacher earning money ?
Teacher: Yes, of course!
Student: geeeez! We do the hard work and the teacher gets the money ?!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher to a student (who was late for a class at a boys school): Why are you late again ?!
Little boy answered: It was because a sign down the road sir.
Teacher asked: What has a sign got to do with your late?!!!
Little boy replied: The sign said [school ahead go very slow]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During a job interview:
Manager: What's the highest level of education you obtained?
Candidate: PHD
Manager: Great! So that means you have a Doctor degree ...
Candidate: Wellll, No... That means
Passed Highschool with Difficulties (P.H.D.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SILENCE: Is the best Answer, for almost all questions.
SMILE: Is the best Reaction, in almost all situations.
But Unfortunately, every rule has its exception As always,
Remember; do not use any of the mentioned techniques in the following cases:
EXAM, REVIEW, VIVA & INTERVIEW
That is life!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
END dose not mean finish, but
E.N.D. means ''Effort Never Dies''
If you get NO as an answer,
remember N.O. means the ''Next Opporunity''
Hence Alwzys Think confidently and positive
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Announcement In University:
"The Students Who Have Parked Their Cars On The Driveway, Please Move Them immediately"
-Another Anouncement After 15 Minutes:
"The 250 Students Who Went To Move 8 Cars Please Return To Their Respective Classes right now"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Principal 2 Students:
U People Must Sleep Atleast 7 Hours A Day.
Students:
Impossible Sir!
College Is Only For 6 Hours!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DAILY DAWN:
CA PAPER DEC 2009 HAS BEEN LEAKED OUT.
Q) What is the Capital of France?
ON DEC 2009: Students write PARIS is the capital of France.
RESULT DAY: Students FAILED
EXAMINER COMMENT(With a Devil Laugh): Capital of France is "F".
CONCLUSION: Even If The paper Leaks Student cannot pass.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Class Rooms are Like a Train:
.
1st Two Rows are Executive Coaches Reserved for VIP.
.
Middle 3 are General Compartments.
.
And
.
Last 2 Are Sleeper Coaches.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A student flips a coin and thinks...
.
Head- i will go to sleep
.
Tail-i will watch a movie
.
Stand-i will listen music
.
Stays in air- I will study
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Long Time Ago,
People who Sacrificed their Sleep,
Forgot their Family,
Forgot their Food,
Forgot laughter were called "SAINTS"
.
But now they are called...
.
.
.
.
.
.
ENGINEERING Students
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cricket is getting excited day by day with the introduction of ICL n T20…
Same rules should be applied in Examz!
(1) Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.
(2) Power Play - No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.
(3) Cheer Leaders - To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.
(4) Strategic Time-Out - Time For Students For Discussion.
(5) Super Over - Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For ENGINEERING students
.
Ques: prove that 2/10=2.
.
Normal college student insist questi0n is "out of syllabus" or inc0rct but Engineering student nevr know wht is c0rect answer, he always thnk we are Enginerng stdnt and we should thnk difrnt and invent new miracles so Enginering student wil s0lve dis example as bel0w:
.
2=two
10=ten, therefore
= two/ten
= cancel (t)
= wo/en
.
W=23
O=15
E=5
N=14,
.
theref0re
.
w+o=23+15=38
& e+n=5+14=19
.
Theref0re
.
wo/en = 38/19 = 2
.
Hence proved!!!
ENGINEERS ROCKS
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is it true that the word STUDYING was derived from STUdents DYING?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife to Husband: In my dream you were buying a diamond ring for me!
.
.
Husband : yeah I saw your dad was paying for it
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy to a careless girl: I Love u !
Girl: Ha Ha
Boy: I will die for u !!
Girl: Ha Ha ha
Boy: I will buy a diamond ring for u
Girl: Awww.. really!! Promise ????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: HaHa Hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things most girls do in an Exam Hall....
Tuck hair behind ears
Answering questions ....
Change the empty refill
Thinking and writing ... then ...
Asking teacher for Extra Sheet
Again keep writing & answering questions ...
.
Things most boys do in an Exam Hall
First looking how many girls in the same Hall
Check out the young Lady supervisor
Looking at the Exam paper .............. ???!!!!!...
Counting how many doors & windows in the Hall
Revising the Location of Chits in d Pockets !!
Little writing then ,,
Seeing the Brand Name of the Pen
Asking teacher to explain questions
Looking at the watch ,,,,
Regretting wasting the last night studying
Finally thinking to study well in the next Exam
.
And After the Exam.......
.
Girl: looking like she’s having a hard time with the Exam, saying:
You know exam was a bit hard, I don’t know what I did, I am afraid to fail (that means 80+ Marks)
.
Boys: looking like everything is fine, saying:
It was not too bad you know.. I think I’ll pass !!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
why r boys so careless & irresponsible?
b’coz
they know that somewhere a sweet & innocent girl is learning 2 be responsible 4 them anyway ...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During a family gathering including BF GF & BF’s mom... BF got asked the most difficult question...
GF: if u were on a raft in the middle of the ocean and ur mom & me were in the water, who would u save? u could only save one!!
BF:
.
.
.
.
.
.
I’d save my mom & jump into water to die with u
b’coz
I promissed u i never wanna live without u baby
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Usually boys believe in what they see and
girls believe in what they hear,
that is why ....
boys lie and girls wear make up
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a reason why i love you is bcoz
u make me smile 4 no reason.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A successful man is the one who makes more money than his wife can spend and A successful woman is the one who can find such a man...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is like a long sweet dream
& marriage is an alarm clock.
So have a sweet dream until your
alarm wakes U up.
Happy Unmarried Life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is Like a Public Toilet:
.
.
.
Those Waiting Outside are Desperate To Get In
.
And
.
Those Inside are Desperate to Come Out.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctors After Operation and Students After Exam Both tell the Same Answer
.
.
.
.
.
We Tried Our Best
Can’t Say Anything Right Now!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of technology:
A stunt writes all Ans as
A stunt writes all Ans as
|||||||||
and lastly he writes..
Ans. aer written in BAR CODE Format 2Protect from Being Copied.
Ans. aer written in BAR CODE Format 2Protect from Being Copied.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
US Dollor is increased to 56/-
Petrol is increased to 81/-
Sachin increased his centuries to 100.
Petrol is increased to 81/-
Sachin increased his centuries to 100.
But Thank God passing marks are still 40 only.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
True Story...
In bed,its 6:00 am,
if u close ur eyes for 5 mins,
its direct 7:45,
.
.
but
.
.
in lecture its 12:30,
u close ureyes for 5 mins,
itz stil 12:31:
In bed,its 6:00 am,
if u close ur eyes for 5 mins,
its direct 7:45,
.
.
but
.
.
in lecture its 12:30,
u close ureyes for 5 mins,
itz stil 12:31:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did u forget admit card, ID, or calculator?
Student: No Sir!
By mistake i have brought tomorrow
exam’s bit (cheating material) today.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We Indian student are always the best..
Look how we study
1) B4 paper unnecessary sms to frndz.
2) Plan each day to study but end of d day:
we should read 2morrow
3) We waste all our tym in counting chapterz instead of doing them.
4) We want break after evrey 2pages
5) Unnecessarily we start feeling hungry
6) We even start likeing doordarshan
7) B4 starting study, msg frndz
8) Right now u r thinking of forwarding this msg to ur frndz.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Einstein never did Sarswati pooja but hewas most Intelligent.
Belive in WORK Not in LUCK
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Breaking news: Newton’s 5th law (Exam Law)
performance of boys in the exam decreases
when the no of girls in the exam hall increases!
performance of boys in the exam decreases
when the no of girls in the exam hall increases!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Im a great fan of Thomas Edison,
Because of his quote that…!!
Because of his quote that…!!
Tomorrow is my exam but I dont care
Because a single sheet of paper
cannot decide my future.
Because a single sheet of paper
cannot decide my future.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That Awesome Moment When You Get..
A Good Grade For A Test You Didn’t Study For
&
Suddenly Your Mom Wakes You
&
You Realize It Was Just
A Dream..
A Good Grade For A Test You Didn’t Study For
&
Suddenly Your Mom Wakes You
&
You Realize It Was Just
A Dream..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Asked in exam for 15 marks..
Student’s Answer:
Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar & keep it outside the Ant’s Hole.
After eating, Ant will search for some water near a water tank.
Push ant in to it. Now ant will go to dry itself near fire.
When it reaches fire, put a bomb into the fire.
Then admit wounded ant in ICU.
Remove oxygen mask from its mouth and kill the ant.
MORAL: Don’t play with students they can do anything for 15 marks.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
80% of the Ques. in the exams are based on the
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
One lecture u missed and the topics u dont covered for the exams.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
.
.
.
When u have No idea what to Write
in the Paper & the Examiner Comes & Says..
*Plz Hide ur Answer Sheet*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Confidence and Hard-work is the best medicine to kill the disease called failure.
It will make u a successful person.
BY
ABDUL KALAAM.
It will make u a successful person.
BY
ABDUL KALAAM.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We study- 80MB
Retains in mind- 80KB
Write in exam- 80Bytes
Result cums in binary digits
i.e.
00
01
10
11
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. In which battle did Napoleon die?
A. His last battle.
Q. Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed?
A. At the Bottom of the Page.
Q. River Ravi flows in which state?
A. Liquid.
Q. Whats the main reason for Divorce?
A. Marriage.
Q. Whats the main reason for Failure?
A. Examinations.
Did the student Answer Anything
Wrong…???
Like TO Support Students
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brain is the most outstanding organ.
It works for 24hrs 365 days from BIRTH.
But,
Stops only when we enter the
But,
Stops only when we enter the
EXAM HALL
Unpredictable..!!
Unpredictable..!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IIT exam,
Santa got 1 question.
Santa got 1 question.
Prove
Sin x = 6n
Santa cancelled ‘n’ from both the sides.
Then
six=6
Sin x = 6n
Santa cancelled ‘n’ from both the sides.
Then
six=6
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude, dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude, dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
eXams are there,
at the paper u stare;
the answer is nowhere,
which makes u pull ur hair.
The teachers make u glare,
the grades r not fair,
but just like the past 20 yrs,
WE DONT CARE !!
at the paper u stare;
the answer is nowhere,
which makes u pull ur hair.
The teachers make u glare,
the grades r not fair,
but just like the past 20 yrs,
WE DONT CARE !!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Congratulations!
Good news for students
Exams of Uni have been postponed upto june
To confirm goto site
www.stop dreaming & start studying.com
Good news for students
Exams of Uni have been postponed upto june
To confirm goto site
www.stop dreaming & start studying.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To be a Good professional,
always start to study late for Exams.
Because it teaches how to manage Time
and tackle Emergencies!
always start to study late for Exams.
Because it teaches how to manage Time
and tackle Emergencies!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My nights are going sleepless,
my days are going useless.
So I asked GOD,
is this love?
GOD replied,
no dear, result is near
my days are going useless.
So I asked GOD,
is this love?
GOD replied,
no dear, result is near
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A student grabbed a coin,
Flipped it in the air & said,
“Head, I go to sleep.”
“Head, I go to sleep.”
Tail, I watch a movie.
If it stands on the edge I’ll study
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It takes 15 trees to
produce the amount
of paper that we
use to write one exam.
produce the amount
of paper that we
use to write one exam.
join us in promoting the noble
cause of saving trees.
SAY NO TO EXAMS.
cause of saving trees.
SAY NO TO EXAMS.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command.
Husband: Exactly darling!
its a computer, not a Husband..!!
Husband: Exactly darling!
its a computer, not a Husband..!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Computer User,
I Do Appreciate Your Kind Attitude Towards
The Keys 0f Keyboard,
But
0ne question…
The Keys 0f Keyboard,
But
0ne question…
Why Do You Press All Keys Softly n Hit Me
With All Your Power?
With All Your Power?
Yours sincerely,
‘ENTER’ Key!
‘ENTER’ Key!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher Gave Him Punishment
To Write 5000 Times
“I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class…”
And Submit It Tomorrow….
To Write 5000 Times
“I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class…”
And Submit It Tomorrow….
Next Day, He Submitted The Paper Written
#Include
Void Main( )
{
Clrscr( );Int N;
For( N=1 ; N<=5000 ; N++ )
Printf(“I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class”); Getch( ); }
Void Main( )
{
Clrscr( );Int N;
For( N=1 ; N<=5000 ; N++ )
Printf(“I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class”); Getch( ); }
Be A Programmer… Think Differently
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FUNNY JOKE
Google maybe the most powerful search engine
but,
it can’t search
.
.
.
.
the chappals u lost at the temple
Google maybe the most powerful search engine
but,
it can’t search
.
.
.
.
the chappals u lost at the temple
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: “Johnny, Im Glad To See Your Writing Has Improved.”
Johnny: “Thank You”
Teacher: “Now, Finally,
I Can See How Bad Your Spellings Are!!!”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: why is the DBA so rich?
A: He creates and manages quite a lot of
FOREIGN KEY relationships
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question By A Student !!
If A Single Teacher Can't
Teach Us All The Subjects,
Then...
How Could You Expect A Single Student
To Learn All Subjects ?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A good friend is like a computer;
me ‘enter’ ur life,
‘save’ u in my heart,
‘format’ ur problems,
‘shift’ u 2 opportunities &
never ‘delete’ u from my memory!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar was writing something very slowly.me ‘enter’ ur life,
‘save’ u in my heart,
‘format’ ur problems,
‘shift’ u 2 opportunities &
never ‘delete’ u from my memory!
Friend asked: Why are you writing so slowly?
Sardar: Im writing to my 6 yr old daughter,
he can not read very fast.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher asked his student:
what is the most important source
of finance for starting a successful business?
Students: "Father in law".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The more you learn, the more you know
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHY STUDENT FAIL
Sundays-52 in a year,Days left 313
Summer holidays 50,Days left 263
8 hrs daily sleep-130 days GONe, Days left 141
1 hr daily playing means 15 days,Days left 126
2 hrs daily for eating means 30 days.Days left 96,
1 hr talking means 15 days.,Days left 81
Exams days 35 days,Days left 46
Eid & Gov holidays 20, Days left 26
Movies,TV at least 25 days,Days left 1
That 1 day is your BIRTHDAY.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!
The priest inquired: Why must you pray so, my child?
Girl:That's what I have written in my answer sheet in the examination!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newton’s 4th law
According to newton’s 4th law for exams-
every book will continue to be at rest
or covered with dust
until some
external or internal exam moves it!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Never ask a lady about her age!
Never ask a man about his salary!
And now-a-days ....
Never ask a student about his percentage ....
.
Because it hurts !!!!
Never ask a man about his salary!
And now-a-days ....
Never ask a student about his percentage ....
.
Because it hurts !!!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Son: Dad, will you punish me for something that I did not do ??
Dad: of course not, why? !
Son: That is great ’cause I did not do my homework!! ... Thanks Dad
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientist: statistics shows that students usually sleep more than the others ...
Student: yeha that is because our dreams are always BIG sir
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The shortest relationship in life is between students and books.
They hook-up only a day before the exam and break-up right after the exam!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHANGING EXAM PATTERN
Year 1995 : Answer all questions.
Year 2000 : Answer any 5 question.
Year 2005 : Select the correct answer (A, B or C).
Year 2010 : Write either a or b.
Year 2015 : Please only read the questions.
Year 2020 : Thanks for Coming !!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you can’t Convince Them
then try to Confuse them!
A good way to answer
unknown questions in Exam!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A student asked a teacher (while collecting homeworks):
Student: is teacher earning money ?
Teacher: Yes, of course!
Student: geeeez! We do the hard work and the teacher gets the money ?!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher to a student (who was late for a class at a boys school): Why are you late again ?!
Little boy answered: It was because a sign down the road sir.
Teacher asked: What has a sign got to do with your late?!!!
Little boy replied: The sign said [school ahead go very slow]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
worlds sweetest and best kind of Sleeping are:
1-Sleeping on Lover’s Shoulder When We Are Alone.
2-Sleeping on Moms Lap when we are so tired.
3-Sleeping With Open Eyes When the Teachers Are lecturing....
1-Sleeping on Lover’s Shoulder When We Are Alone.
2-Sleeping on Moms Lap when we are so tired.
3-Sleeping With Open Eyes When the Teachers Are lecturing....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During a job interview:
Manager: What's the highest level of education you obtained?
Candidate: PHD
Manager: Great! So that means you have a Doctor degree ...
Candidate: Wellll, No... That means
Passed Highschool with Difficulties (P.H.D.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SILENCE: Is the best Answer, for almost all questions.
SMILE: Is the best Reaction, in almost all situations.
But Unfortunately, every rule has its exception As always,
Remember; do not use any of the mentioned techniques in the following cases:
EXAM, REVIEW, VIVA & INTERVIEW
That is life!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
END dose not mean finish, but
E.N.D. means ''Effort Never Dies''
If you get NO as an answer,
remember N.O. means the ''Next Opporunity''
Hence Alwzys Think confidently and positive
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Announcement In University:
"The Students Who Have Parked Their Cars On The Driveway, Please Move Them immediately"
-Another Anouncement After 15 Minutes:
"The 250 Students Who Went To Move 8 Cars Please Return To Their Respective Classes right now"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the true meaning of ‘Study’??
.
.
.
S. Sleeping
T. Talking
U. Unlimited sms
D. Dreaming
Y. Yarn
SO carry on study..!! Plzzzzz.
.
.
.
S. Sleeping
T. Talking
U. Unlimited sms
D. Dreaming
Y. Yarn
SO carry on study..!! Plzzzzz.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Principal 2 Students:
U People Must Sleep Atleast 7 Hours A Day.
Students:
Impossible Sir!
College Is Only For 6 Hours!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DAILY DAWN:
CA PAPER DEC 2009 HAS BEEN LEAKED OUT.
Q) What is the Capital of France?
ON DEC 2009: Students write PARIS is the capital of France.
RESULT DAY: Students FAILED
EXAMINER COMMENT(With a Devil Laugh): Capital of France is "F".
CONCLUSION: Even If The paper Leaks Student cannot pass.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Class Rooms are Like a Train:
.
1st Two Rows are Executive Coaches Reserved for VIP.
.
Middle 3 are General Compartments.
.
And
.
Last 2 Are Sleeper Coaches.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A student flips a coin and thinks...
.
Head- i will go to sleep
.
Tail-i will watch a movie
.
Stand-i will listen music
.
Stays in air- I will study
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Long Time Ago,
People who Sacrificed their Sleep,
Forgot their Family,
Forgot their Food,
Forgot laughter were called "SAINTS"
.
But now they are called...
.
.
.
.
.
.
ENGINEERING Students
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cricket is getting excited day by day with the introduction of ICL n T20…
Same rules should be applied in Examz!
(1) Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.
(2) Power Play - No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.
(3) Cheer Leaders - To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.
(4) Strategic Time-Out - Time For Students For Discussion.
(5) Super Over - Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For ENGINEERING students
.
Ques: prove that 2/10=2.
.
Normal college student insist questi0n is "out of syllabus" or inc0rct but Engineering student nevr know wht is c0rect answer, he always thnk we are Enginerng stdnt and we should thnk difrnt and invent new miracles so Enginering student wil s0lve dis example as bel0w:
.
2=two
10=ten, therefore
= two/ten
= cancel (t)
= wo/en
.
W=23
O=15
E=5
N=14,
.
theref0re
.
w+o=23+15=38
& e+n=5+14=19
.
Theref0re
.
wo/en = 38/19 = 2
.
Hence proved!!!
ENGINEERS ROCKS
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is it true that the word STUDYING was derived from STUdents DYING?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife to Husband: In my dream you were buying a diamond ring for me!
.
.
Husband : yeah I saw your dad was paying for it
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy to a careless girl: I Love u !
Girl: Ha Ha
Boy: I will die for u !!
Girl: Ha Ha ha
Boy: I will buy a diamond ring for u
Girl: Awww.. really!! Promise ????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: HaHa Hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things most girls do in an Exam Hall....
Tuck hair behind ears
Answering questions ....
Change the empty refill
Thinking and writing ... then ...
Asking teacher for Extra Sheet
Again keep writing & answering questions ...
.
Things most boys do in an Exam Hall
First looking how many girls in the same Hall
Check out the young Lady supervisor
Looking at the Exam paper .............. ???!!!!!...
Counting how many doors & windows in the Hall
Revising the Location of Chits in d Pockets !!
Little writing then ,,
Seeing the Brand Name of the Pen
Asking teacher to explain questions
Looking at the watch ,,,,
Regretting wasting the last night studying
Finally thinking to study well in the next Exam
.
And After the Exam.......
.
Girl: looking like she’s having a hard time with the Exam, saying:
You know exam was a bit hard, I don’t know what I did, I am afraid to fail (that means 80+ Marks)
.
Boys: looking like everything is fine, saying:
It was not too bad you know.. I think I’ll pass !!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
why r boys so careless & irresponsible?
b’coz
they know that somewhere a sweet & innocent girl is learning 2 be responsible 4 them anyway ...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During a family gathering including BF GF & BF’s mom... BF got asked the most difficult question...
GF: if u were on a raft in the middle of the ocean and ur mom & me were in the water, who would u save? u could only save one!!
BF:
.
.
.
.
.
.
I’d save my mom & jump into water to die with u
b’coz
I promissed u i never wanna live without u baby
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Usually boys believe in what they see and
girls believe in what they hear,
that is why ....
boys lie and girls wear make up
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
a reason why i love you is bcoz
u make me smile 4 no reason.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A successful man is the one who makes more money than his wife can spend and A successful woman is the one who can find such a man...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is like a long sweet dream
& marriage is an alarm clock.
So have a sweet dream until your
alarm wakes U up.
Happy Unmarried Life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is Like a Public Toilet:
.
.
.
Those Waiting Outside are Desperate To Get In
.
And
.
Those Inside are Desperate to Come Out.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment